Within a Yung Eye

The Fight To Serve

Sun, 05 Dec 2010 16:32:00 GMT

- Originally written October 23, 2010 @ 1:15 PM

The most difficult character to desire to develop has to be the heart to serve. To forget yourself and the selfish value of your time. To be constantly aware of everyone else, to clog that desire of wanting to prove something. My entire life has been about wanting to let everyone know that I'm the best. That I will be the greatest in what I do. In the end why do I want that? Or more like why did I want that?

More recently I've been battling with the thought of not wanting to be the greatest because of the pride that comes with it.
To be more aware of oneself is so dangerous. So I must be more and more aware of God in me, so that he can pour into me, as I pour my time, thoughts, love, and ambition into Him.
But I want to still create. And if those who listen to my creations love them or hate them, that's just the way things are in this world. I need to fill my time with education and value. With books and hot drinks and classical music.
And the wisdom of God as he transforms me.

To learn what it means to become a leader, a people understander, and a close friend of God.

The One About Self Worth... Yungtown

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 02:28:00 GMT

Why in the world did I allow an internet crowd to define me?
What a crazy generation where you can actually find a community that is impossible to "touch."
I'm just as bad as the next person who tries to sway others opinion's of oneself by showcasing something potentially talent filled.

HipHop is super bad with that. Everyone just wants to be the greatest, which is impossible.
While some adapt to the mindset of desiring to be the best, and later some will declare themselves of such a status. Creating a self built pedestal built only on a foundation to now compare and spit at anyone's own searchings for admiration, affirmation, criticism, or for the world to listen to. The musician culture (especially hiphop culture) has such a strong spirit of competitive stubbornness, while the focusing of self expression and the freedom to be creative fall by the wayside.

To live a life searching for approval, admiration, and respect from a crowd that will never budge is frustrating and wasteful. "The best musician" status will never as long as we live be defined as a fact.

So why in the world did I try and define myself by what forever will be determined as an opinion?
Because of my supposedly unworthy status to communicate.
Because I never really just fit as a personal taste, musically.
Because of the mocking of my capability that made me question my self worth.
Because some people thought I'd never be as good as them, so they 'motherese' my work providing no constructive criticism.
Because I looked up and respected the wrong people in the most earliest stages of growing.
Because I was full fledged pathetic premature slaved imbecile that believed it was SOMEHOW possible to change your mind.

Let's ride on the generic, "but it made me what I am today!" (shoot me)
But it did!

Just because you have experience in anything doesn't mean it qualifies you to teach it, or to shove your personal beliefs down anyone's throat.
People need to deeply analyze oneself to truly recognize potential virtue of a teaching capability. It's those who are blatantly opinionated that need to calm down.

A teacher awakens your own expectations while the wrong kind of people only drive you to prove them wrong.

In the midst of all of this there is a fine line between one's self stubborn nature when receiving possible great aid. However I'm referring about those who are disrespectfully forthright.

I feel sorry for the people who start doing something they love or are called to do, in a wrong environment.
Surrounded by people who only downplay their worth for whatever reason making sure to implode his/her passion.

Typically that is never the case. I mean if one is passionate enough it takes a lot to completely rid of them that passion. However it can still happen. I have been one of those people... There is one incident I can recall where I tore someone so down it discouraged that person from wanting to do music. He took a break. I only recently apologized and checked up on him. I will never be that guy ever again. Don't you ever be that person either, because you never know if someone is on the verge of just giving up.

Within a Yung Eye

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 10:06:00 GMT

Milestone- An important event, as in a person's career, the history of a nation, or the advancement of knowledge in a field; a turning point.

4 years ago I started performing.. I remember my first 'booked' gig. It was at this fair ground where I was simply another local act on stage. The sound quality of everything was awful, I explained every song before performing them, and even if the few people paying attention caught the definition of each song.. they probably never caught what I was saying. (the system was that bad)

I was nervous, some what confident, but none the less it felt right. Being there, standing- on a platform. Expressing my heart out, 1-on-1- me and the world.

Later on that year other opportunities unveiled themselves. Performing in front of 25,000 people. Something your average 16 year old doesn't get to do.
I thought I had arrived.

I took show after show after show. That became my life.. my ministry, my heart. Everything of who I was, was being on that stage performing for the world to see.

How much it consumed me, I never wrapped my head around until it was all taken away.
I started school in Fall of 09' and that's when my busy show-filled summer came to a halt, and then school happened... Music school.

Means, no more Yungtown. Getting an education, and focusing on serving other musicians.
That is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I don't consider my self_ selfish and incapable of serving.. it's just.

Performing as Yungtown, was absolutely gone from me.>>
_____________________________________________________________________________
It is physically impossible for me to describe what goes on inside of me whenever I perform.
God has made rapping and performing something more than just two verbs in my life.
All the pieces in my life may never make sense for the time being, but on stage everything clicks together.
I am at my sharpest, I can see the most clearly, and all my sicknesses (literal sickness) go away.

There is no doubt that God wired me in this way.
____________________________________________________________________________
>>To describe what happened inside of me, to say the least, was detoxing.
Everything I was used to flushed away, something my body became dependent on, now losing blood.

A couple of weeks back I had my first legit show in front of a new crowd.
I realized something.
I never deserved any opportunity no matter how much I felt like I did.
My career started as something I had to prove to my parents and peers.. That it was something I could do.
That mentality carried itself and collected other ideas along the way..
But yes yes back to that show last week---
I realized that everything I have done, was given to me.

I literally grasped that idea.. I've been under the impression that "ok God wants me to do this, so of course things are going to happen.. and plus He made me awesome at it!"

I never had a real pure thankful mentality. It was like a business deal between God and myself, and I was just doing my job- but then lost sight of mine and His relationship and it's importance, cause I was so caught up in my job.

This past year everything has been moving, falling, and transfiguring itself.. I felt it happening, but never considered it's importance. Though now.. That confusing stage is over, I see it all now.

That show looking amongst the people, the only words I said were these...

"Look I haven't performed in front of a crowd in a good while. And I have realized something, I have taken this for granted. I want to let you guys know how much you all mean to me, having me here... This means the entire world, and I don't want to take this for granted ever again." Because everything was enhanced at that moment... Everything CLICKED. It felt more right than it has ever felt.

After the show I was presented with an envelope (which was not apart of the deal, cause it was a free show)

I opened the envelope to find two checks... long story short. I called the guy - to make sure it wasn't a mistake.. to find out. No mistake. Both checks at generous amounts. I started crying. I can't remember a time feeling so thankful.
Everything made sense... I wasn't truly cherishing my purpose. I never saw it's true value because it was always moving. Like I was always doing shows, and I just thought that was how it was supposed to be. I never saw it in this light.

I will never take this for granted again. My heart and relationship with God right now, from the midst of realizing everything, has changed.

Because I finally realize how much I don't deserve anything, and yet here I am being giving new opportunities.

Not only shows, but I see life in this light as well. It is one amazing opportunity, and just thought I deserved it.

This realization, milestone, whatever- has formed me to something else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_XMU-41kNA

I'm Out

Promoting a New Blog

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 07:31:00 GMT

I'll be posting new and older lyrics everyday!

If you have any kind of desire to follow this blog- please do so!
-I'll also be posting up links for you to listen, and d/l these songs for free!
So definitely worth it.

http://yungtownlyrics.blogspot.com/

Have a good one :)

Yungtown

Ghosts Towns' in the Ocean

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:37:00 GMT

New Chapter.

There always time to write a new chapter. A new chapter that will build upon the previous..
To write every chapter considering at the same time, it may soon be over.

But does the book ever really close?

Books remain timeless which stand next to the eternity of a song.
Each will forever be effective.

___________

I never really go into blogs knowing what I want to say, but just to write. To create visual depictions of my thoughts.

Development, Arrested Development!! ha ha! yeaaa

What is Happening?

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 09:18:00 GMT

This is frickin messed up! I'm so perplexed and lost inside. No idea what's going to happen after I make this move to Memphis.. it's overwhelming. Maybe it's more overwhelming at the thought I have to finish cleaning the house, packing, sleeping, and making sure I have everything before I leave. Yeah I figured it out, it's that.
And frickin Drew has to go get in a car wreck the day before I leave!! So now I have no one to chill with this last night... man it scared me so bad to hear he was in a wreck and then to spend all day at the hospital just to see him for like 6 min. It's all worth it though, I'm just at a breaking point with all of this stuff. I know it's all in God's hands though, I just wish I could calm down for a minute and breathe. Not to mention some dang girls feel like they have to trash my car with cheese or something when I'm not looking?? Like i have time to clean all this crap up. So I see some friends at a gas station on the way back from the hospital, and they get this wise idea to like pour cottage cheese and beans all on the front of my car.... gah how friggin vexing!!! Not to mention I'm dang sad inside to leave Springville, the place I thought would never become home to me. How ironic. I'll never forget moving away from Atlanta to come to this hell hole here in Springville, now I don't want to leave it!! All my friends are here, obviously my family isn't anymore lol.

It's been one heck of a summer though.. it's been a lot of fun, a lot of freedom, and just a lot I guess. Now it's time for the next thing college, friggin hurray! ha, no I really am excited it's just blended emotions with everything going on around it. I do know that I am ready for it.

I'm SO glad that High school is over, what a complete retarded time in a person's life. "High school" ha. Where SOO many things appear SO important.. and then just to graduate and realize that none of those things mattered at all. haha how pathetic. It's like high school puts this whole handful of thoughts and priorities in your life, just for you to wonder why it all mattered once high school ended.

haha like if you play sports Coaches make it seem that, THAT is life. You see a nice looking girl, and THAT is life! Gah what a brainwashing academy.. you really can't think for yourself until your out. And you don't even realize it until afterward. I mean seriously my eyes were open once I stepped out of those doors for the final time..

On another note I'm ready to do whatever it may take to follow this dream. That's what its been about since that first day I discovered my purpose. And college is just another objective in order to achieve this greater dream. I'm so thankful to receive clarity of my dream at such a young age... Thank you God for that.

Well I got to go get some stuff from Wal-Mart. God Bless you all!

Your Face and Dreams

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:27:00 GMT

What's up people to the left and right, in the front and back.

Anyways to release some thoughts here we go, people are stupid.
I don't know how many people in this life have just kept in contact with me in order to just basically use me. What I mean is people who I know of, will call me up out of the blue who I only have an acqutance with, if even that.

Like my phone will ring, and/or I'll get a text from a person who I've never talked to on the phone, and now I'm left questioning how did I even get there # in the first place.

and there always like,

"Heyy Luke how are you?"

I always strain from firstly saying "...what do you need?"

but it continues on.. "Hey I have a big big favor to ask.."
and I know it has SOMETHING to do with editing, mixing, music or video..

and oh there they go. I'm usually a sucker to help people out because that's where my heart's at.. but at the same time, I totally feel used. I'm not saying "Ohh man don't you dare ever ask me to do anything for you" but it's just people who have nothing to do with what I do, until they HAVE to do it. Now for example if it's someone who I've never even met before, hits me up on myspace who does music, and want's me to mix something, I jump on that quick as anything.

Why?

Because they share the heart I do, the people who make me feel used are the ones who only ask of "favors" when they HAVE to do something, not because they want to.

I'm ALL about giving input to other's songs when needed and providing them random support, because it's impossibly tough to do this indie music thing on your own. You don't have a group of people backing you, supporting you, making sure you get something done. You do it on your own time, whether it be hobbie or passion.. even then, it's extremely difficult to know what direction your going in as opposed to getting better, or how to get better at something specific..

Me sharing that experience of having to get to a certain point on my own, I try and be that person I needed in the very begining. The last thing this world needs is people becoming discouraged of there passion and not believing in it or themselves because of lack of external motivation.

It also aligns with the fact that my spiritual gift is "encourager" and at this point things it's such a great tool to have. I think personally I've 'preached' more on following your dreams and rellying on God, then the Gospel alone. I don't have AS great of a desire to bring people to Christ, as I do to GROW, ENCOURAGE, and INSPIRE all people to believe in God.

Some people grow up along the lines of a foundation that reads "I can't" or "impossible" and that alone is unhealthy supports. Other people may be fired up in there passion/desire just to get tremendously shot down later on, leaving their dreams at a point of compelte brokeness.

Sometimes I forget the most important things in life.. like God knows exactly what he's doing, and that he's a very slow moving God. While I believe miracles are miraculous acts of God's power, I think the things that take the most time are the most beautiful, beneficial, and appreciated. Which goes under the lines of almost everything.. a car given to us is heck of a blessing, but a car that we saved up for 2 years to buy is much cherished because we invested 2 years of life for it.

I think that's exactly what dreams are.. Dreams are ivestments of our passion and imagination into faith, that one day they will be fufilled. Dreams I think are never a matter of "if" but always a matter of "when" and "how".

I've began a certain mindset telling me "ok what if just helping other artists out at the level your at now is your purpose.. so why not start becoming content with it?" I believe that there is some true and false within that thought.. Maybe "for now" I should be content of this, but I think I would start gaining 'false dreams' to believe that "THIS IS IT"..

It honestly sucks to wait, but that's what makes everything worth while. I defintely believe that God is truly working patientece into my life.. so best of wishes to everyone when it comes to following your dreams. May you fall in love with the very blessings of God and never take them for granted, but always show appreciation with your hands, thoughts, and lips.

Much Love

Crazy Dreams...

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:07:00 GMT

I don't know why in the heck I remember all of this, or why I dreamed of all this.
But when I woke up 20 min ago I was able to recall like 3-4 dreams I had as a whole.
It's not like I ate anything crazy the night before either, I don't even know what's up.

The 1st dream was basically me watching the whole new harry potter movie in first person, like I was apart of the movie in the sense where I was just walking around where all the important characters were.. I don't know if they noticed me or not cause at other times I tended to be floating like I was just some camera..? The characters didn't look like anything from the movies, I think I was in what I thought the real life version of the harry potter characters.. ?

My next dream was very different, and this one I remember more details of. I was stuck in some old 80's movie called "Chumps" (I don't think it's a real title to a movie). But the concept was basically a whole bunch of nerds team up along with one greaser (Johnny) to take down the school that is next door to show their home school, they have what it takes. Mainly I guess to earn some respect as nerds. Strangely it was Me, Wil Leopard, (some other guy) and Johnny as the 4 main characters in this movie. So the school environment was something I completely made up in my dream, but yeah we had two completely different high schools literally next door to each other. So in it, it was homecoming for the both of our schools, and us 'chumps' were basically brewing up a plan to go sabotage their homecoming as well as their school. Johnny had the great idea that we all go tag the inside of the building for starts, though we had no spray paint.

Being nerds and all I guess we figured by getting cans and pouring pen ink in them, would be as equivalent as spray paint, and I don't remember where we got the lil spray nozzles from but the whole contraption was completely ghetto. We snuck inside just to start tagging the first hallway we walked in on, when Wil started telling me a story of last year's experience. "Yeah man last year... We had this big enough distraction where I was able to stand right here for at least an hour and a half and I tagged this GIANT Merell of how there mascot with a little twist."

Then the next thing I knew we were already caught and Johnny shouted, "To the ride!"
Referring to his car, and Johnny being the oldest at 21 (I have no idea why) we raced to his car. It was some white ride, but Johnny could not drive worth a flip and the next thing we know, we are wrecking into everything causing this giant heap of wreckage behind us, for an easy trail to follow.

Some reason the camera panned over as soon as we caused some more damage to this teacher driving to school, and happened to see and recognized us. He picked up his giant cell phone (they didn't have cell's in the 80s!) and called the main office of OUR own school saying something like, "Hey I just passed those boys who took off earlier... *he paused* no no I can handle it. I have all of their parent's numbers, I'll give them a call and tell them to meet us at the school."

suddenly from THIS dream, I woke up in some other bed (in another dream) like in a hotel. I think now I was staying at some retreat I think the one in Gatlinburg, TN "Winter Extreme".
Anyways there was me, Wil Leopard, my two brothers Jake and Nate, and that little guy from "Different Strokes" who always said, "Whatchu talkin bout Willis?"

I woke up started telling Jake about my dream, when Wil woke up to tune in, and ask me more about what I was telling Jake... "Oh yeah Wil you were in it too!!"
Then for some reason that little dude got up from his bed, and started smacking Nate in the face and I remember I was getting really ticked up cause Nate wasn't doing anything. I was like, "NATE what are you doing? Do something!" He said, "Nahh man he's so small and I don't want to get in trouble for hitting someone so little.." --"NATE don't take that from him, just get him off you at least"

Then as if Nate was wiping off sweat from his upper brow, flung that little dude half way across the room. As soon as that happened my Dad walked in like, "NATE what did I tell you about hitting people? Cut it out!"

Then the next thing I know I looked down and my mattress is completely gone from underneath me and I'm laying on the ground... and I acknowledge it like, "Hey where did my mattress go?" And then I just accepted the fact I was on the floor for now, and went back to sleep... (from that dream, to another one)

Next thing I know I was dressed as a custodian piling out of a car along with 3-4 other school custodians I couldn't see the faces of, outside of springville high school. We are there to do some vandalizing inside of the building by tagging the walls. (I think I was just combining ideas by this point) but there were other actual custodians walking around, so we had to sneak pass them, at the same time tag the walls with spray paint. For some reason there were custodians EVERYWHERE at every dang corner, so it was almost impossible, though eventually our team of people started getting careless and tagging everywhere and running. I remember seeing lots of walls and floors with ridiculous marks of black paint, and crazy things on them like words and faces and things. Then I remember us piling into the car we came in just to wreck right into the very building we vandalized. Eventually we all got caught and were being pulled into this room where we couldn't see who was in it...yet. I remember thinking "Ohh man please let there be no one important in there.." (like a cop or someone) Next thing I see is my old health teacher. Ms. White in there. For some reason she sat us down, lectured all of us who were apart of the scam, and showed us a video of what it would look like without us walking at graduation...

idk how anyone would posses something like that, THEN after that video was over with, she played another video that was the complete opposite in content, and we saw what it will look like when we walk... idk I guess someone could manipulate space and time and all this. But our punishment was weird... we had to be cheerleaders for the game that was that afternoon, and dress up and throw pom-poms and stuff. So we went outside to "pump up the team" where what was supposed to be humiliating, no one could've cared less and everyone for some reason wanted to throw our pom-poms at people.. Idk it was very strange. I tried running off to go home, but a teacher saw me and stopped me from leaving..

THEN I for real woke up.. I have no idea why I dreamt all of those things, and remembered all those dreams like that. It's pretty insane. But I felt an obligation to type all this out. haha too bad!

On a more serious note: I'm going to continue to write about life and all that wondrous grand stuff. uh.. I still can't analyze my own relational situations correctly, and I still love all of you who may read this!
Have a good... Thursday..? wait no it's Wednesday! Yeah Lost EP. 2 Season 5 comes on TONIGHT!

Hero: of Time

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 06:47:00 GMT

There have been only a few divine experiences in my entire life up to this point. There has been 3.

I. Calling from...Where?

1. When I was 11 years old I felt like I was called from the distance from some stranger I knew nothing of, nor could I see. I felt something in my heart and in the pit of my stomach felt this urge while looking up into the sky, that there is someone calling my name... That someone needed help, and I wanted to do whatever it took to save that person I felt calling, and I was willing to prepare for anything... of course at the time, in my imagination I dreamt as if I had to go save the princess and rescue the love of my life from some great danger that I only knew of, because of some supernatural connection between us. Ha, simply sounds like a fantasy?

Looking back: I realize that, the feeling was the very first experience of God in my life. Not that God needed saving from me, but he needed me for a much bigger job that only He could see. That at the time, I wasn't supposed to save anyone, but I need something bigger to save me before I started to influence people's lives. And I was sure at that age, already, I wanted to influence people's lives for the better, and I wanted to bring hope into the darkness and destroy evil. Of course when I say "bring hope into the darkness" I ony referred to people who needed saving from evil, maybe a dragon or demon? haha I was young ling! After that, I got really into Hercules thinking I was a hero, and one of the songs from that Disney Classic sticks with me to this day "Go the distance" which is one of the foundations of my heart and dreams.

II. Calling from God.

2. The 2ND radical experience of God in my life was when I first accepted Him into my heart and life. I remember the day quite vividly, but I don't remember the date. I was about 11-12 years old on this Sunday morning, where I was trying to avoid the church service. "Big Church" is what it was called in our book, and when I say "our" I'm referring to me and my other younger siblings. I remember the Sunday mornings prior to that specific Sunday I use to pretend to play sick, so I could go to my Dad's office during the service, (He was the youth pastor) and play with all of his super hero action figures and his NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) PS. "At the time N64 was already out but we didn't cop that system till like 2 years later."
ANYWAYS, I was up in my Dad's office just laying around with some of the toys around me, trying to convince myself I was really sick because the last thing I wanted to do was sit through another "Big Church" service. The only way we stayed entertained and mostly quiet was when my Dad would give us comic books to read during the service. Ha, because of that I love him for it still to this day.

~My Dad finally came in the office, while the service was still going on, and asked me if I have thought about accepting God. During the time I remember my Dad always talking to me about accepting Jesus into my heart, I don't know if he was afraid that I wouldn't.. I really don't know. But I felt like he was shoving it down my throat to do it, but finally that day I said the prayer for the first time in my life...

Looking back: I use to have the fear that I only did it because I felt so much pressure to do so, but after it was all said and done I recall this lifting off of my shoulders and joy inside of me for the first time. The times where I was afraid of my salvation, I would worry about dieing, and I would cry out to God of how I "for real" needed Him. To this day I worry not about how it happened, I'm just thankful of my Parent's great influence, and feeling voided no more because OF finally accepting Him into my life.

III. Confirmation in the Calling

3. My love for music... I swear it's about as strange as when I felt "called from out of no where" so to speak. But its as if THAT moment way back when, and this more recent feeling are entwined with each other. I literally felt that Music was the purpose of my life, because I recall seeing the potential that I knew I could do this, and that if I could succeed in anything, this was it! It's not like everyday I have these CRAZY out of no where feelings that I'm 100% to pursue in, but only in this moment have I felt this; that's how I know it's legit... it's not supposed to be an everyday thing, otherwise how would I be able to point it out so distinctively for what it was? It's like falling in love for the first time, you KNOW it's love because you've never experienced anything like it until that moment. It's almost a brand new emotion so to speak, and since you've never felt it before the only way to respond to it, is to pursue in it.

Ex. Happiness is to smile. Sadness is to cry. Purpose is to pursue.

No one needs to tell you to smile when your happy, and no one needs to tell you to cry when your on the verge of tears. And no one needs to tell you what to do when you find the ultimate desire of your life, pertaining to purpose, you just understand it's something you have to do. Like your destiny that's awaiting to be fulfilled.

You ever have that one song you could've survive without? That changed your life?
Mine, and not because he is white mc as well. but "Lose Yourself" by Eminem became my life anthem, that spoke words of relativity into my life. It was with this song I realized that there is more than blood keeping me alive in there. The one song that new exactly what I was dealing with when I was stuck playing basketball for the last 3 years of my 'athletic career'. It encouraged me, brought tears to my eyes, and made me fight for my only desire no matter what it took. I was going to become an MC, and I didn't care what kind of storms or things I had to go through, I was ready... all I needed was one moment. I remember looking at the stage in our church and thinking, "That's where I'm called to be...that's IT!" And I knew it! Though no one else would understand me at the time. I mean I was simply an Apple Tree with no apples produced. I had no outside proof of what I was capable to do yet, I only knew I could do it.
The only reason I know I have become successful in this desire, is because I've invested it all, 100% in God. And I will continue to do so, unless I have some sort of divine experience pertaining to purpose once more.. ha, but for now... Time to go save the princess.

Dreaming With a Broken Heart...

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 09:51:00 GMT

The most painful experience to ever endure.

I've realized so much within this past week...

It's crazy to actually know what you, yourself, put someone else through by experiencing the same thing you put them through. aka:(in my situation) a broken heart.
Which also makes me really self evaluate myself.

I don't think I've even seen this deep inside of who I really am, until now. I definitely see God working in my life more than ever, internally. Really putting some things together that have never been connected, as well as cutting a few wires. I'm struggling with the loss of the wires being cut, as well as the new repairs. I see new colors I've never witnessed before, it's just difficult adjusting to em.

Did you know that there are only two major emotions?

Fear and Love

and every other emotion are just branches off of those two... which if you think about it, it really makes sense.

I think ultimately, when it comes to people, those TWO emotions are the foundation of everything they want to conquer... Conquer Fear and Love, and once you do that you've conquered everything in between. I don't think most people really know, they see the surface of it. Such as, "Oh if I only had enough money," or "if I could only not be alone anymore and finally someone.."

ultimately you have a fear of not having enough, therefore to conquer what you feel, is to obtain more... aka. Get more money!
And I guess that could go for anyone.

I have no idea why I think of these things, maybe it's because I have such a curiosity to understand how we operate and the specifics that make us tick.

Something I'm trying to figure out is why in the world does the sky in general, whether it be clouds, sunset, sunrise, the stars, or the moon, gives this feeling of desire. And why memories make me feel the exact same way.

Maybe because deep down I've always desired something greater then what I can see... I think that's why I really NEED God.

I'm stupid...God created everything.. even the heart. He knows what it takes to heal, for he knew what it took to create. I've got to change what I see, and see how HE See's. Therefore completely depend on Him, instead of just trying to repair these scars by looking for someone else to do it for me.

"God, please prepare me by repairing me for what You want of me. Even though as much as I hate experiencing situations as these, I know You are ultimately molding me into more of what You want me to become. My heart has forever been in your hands, just give me inspiration, understanding/WISDOM, and endurance. Thank you for always being there for me, even when everything else wasn't. I love you." -Luke

The Hardest Part

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 09:57:00 GMT

I don't know what's going to come out of this blog but I guess we are about to find out.

"Fix You" - Coldplay (X&Y)

This tour has opened my eyes in many ways and it continues to do so each day as we reach closer to the final date. So many things have changed within 2 weeks of time...

To reach a percentage of how much my heart is healed I would say 95%, which is incredible.
~~ I've developed a couple of theory's as well, in the midst of it all.

Our whole life consists of multiple tests. Every choice, every thought, and every word will be judged once our lives our over, therefore these choices determine the outcome of our final grade, if you will. Which to a lot of people who believe the same way, this is nothing new. But take into consideration that more than half of the time it's very difficult to focus on the realization that this IS a test. Most of the time we just look down with confusion and frustration and become extremely discouraged and negative.

In your Christian walk, if your focus isn't all the way on God, I believe sometimes God will place situations in your life that will surrender you, so that the only thing that is left to do IS depend on Him.

If your life consists of 100% relying on God, 100% of the time then you will never fear anything.

As much as you feel like you deserve to understand the intricacies of a situation, who really determines what we deserve to know? I guess it all falls into pride, that we truly believe we HAVE to understand WHY something happened. When honestly I believe we need to just be thankful we are alive, and come to think of it I've never felt the need to know why my heart keeps pumping blood, I was just satisfied that it was doing it's job.

Sometimes I don't think we give God that same credit, we need to stop questioning why we face hard times in the midst of our relationship with Him, and instead just know that He is doing His thing.

As much as I may hate it at times, I know God will take hard times that we face in order to teach us a lesson, that molds us to become more of what he envisions us to be. And if that's the case, as much as I hate dealing with it, it's all in God's hands.

He is the only one to heal broken hearts, and he is the only one that understand why things are happening for the time they are. He See's the long-term, though we may not be able to understand it at the time, we got to understand God has our best interest for us.

~And it's so much easier to look back once it's all over and say, "That was God's will, I'm glad it all happened!" The part that puts us through hell and back, is actually climbing to that spot where we are finally able to understand why something happened.

I think once we all die, and reach our destined locations, we will understand why everything happened in our lives. Even then if we still don't understand, who are we to say we deserve to know?

Life In Technicolor

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:56:00 GMT

I guess no matter what happens, or how you handle it you can never try again.

"Trouble"-Coldplay (Parachutes)

In the end, there's no room for another beginning or origin.

It seems that the wrong always outshines the right.
That there is more negative than positive.
There is more hate than love.
And there are more of the Empire then there are of the Rebels.

So I guess if this is all in fact true, how do we win unless we surrender to the shadows of this World?

Of course there are some things I could have definitely done better, but I guess that's truly too late. No matter how many times you apologies, does anything truly ever go away? You really do only have one shot, and if you mess it up, that's it.

In the beginning you have opportunities to take risks, but in the end you only have opportunities to remember those opportunities... This world is no perfect movie, it's like a bunch of em..

Some movies are going to end great, some confusing, some with no plot, some with no point, some with just some terrible decisions... Sadly that's exactly how life is.

Your going to have millions of eyes looking at you all forming there own conclusive opinions on how you handled something... So I guess no matter how much of a perfectionist I am, I have no room to truly desire to live some sort of perfectly solved life. Why I think the way I do, why I handle certain things the way I do. .?

(If you don't read anything above at least read this)
~~On this note there is a chapter in my life I will forever cherish, and as one chapter ends another must begin. No chapter is ever forgotten as much as momentarily you may desire to shred those pages out of your life. My only aspiration is that the ones who are in these pages sharing this Chapter with me, have experienced as I have, and will cherish me within their own.
I'm very much a fool for vaunting such a venomous verification about this part of my life, even when in reality it was quite visionary and ideal. I should never violate memories with such a poison, but instead visit them with a vivid spirit. The void whispering is none the less rather visible, but no matter how vulnerable my heart may seem it has yet reached a vital position of understanding. I just wish the transitions from Chapter to Chapter would be much more smoother at times. No matter how much self-pride may get in the way, I stand solidifying that sometimes dreams awaken in your life. And for a moment, I had a grasp of that dream.. but I she proved everything I once thought, wrong.. instead I learned
"To live is greater then to dream alone, especially when your dream is the one holding your hand."
-Luke

Hancock: Power or Love?

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:14:00 GMT

If you seen the movie "Hancock" starring Will Smith, you know the concept the plot and the climax. For those who haven't seen it I'm going to share a brief summary with you on it's plot.

It starts with Hancock, the super hero everyone hates because he isn't doing his job. He jacks stuff up, his way of saving people, and preventing havoc ultimately lead to more havoc for he is completely illogical when it comes to how he solves the crime.

Hancock's character is very rebellious and more alone then anything, and though his actions may display a side of carelessness, deep down all he really desires is acceptance.

In the end he comes to find out, he isn't alone, but there is only one more of his kind left. Yeah but she is a very attractive girl, who you really don't expect to be much of anything but really attractive until that one scene where Hancock tries to kiss her, and she dang tosses him through a wall nailing him to a car.

She also shares some intelligent dialogue like, "I'm stronger...much stronger"

And I'm all like, "Why the heck does the girl have to be stronger? I mean dang it cmon, for real?" Like there was no way that she even displayed her strength to be more than Hancocks, so I'm convinced the Fresh Prince has got her on this one.

Anyways, the whole relevance to why even there are only two left of their kind (super people or w/e they are) they were made in pairs; also explained by the much "stronger" woman half, who also seems to just have everything going for her.

OK let me just get right to it, the reason THEY were made in pairs along with all the other 'super whatever' before them, is so they can be together and live normal lives... and when I say normal, I mean normal, for when they are together and united they become mortals and lose their abilities and immortality until they separate... so it's a choice... whether or not to live a regular scheduled life with the your soul mate, or to live a life of super immortality without them. Oh yeah the others before them died because they chose to live a life together, and never got to be super heros because they were lame.

Watching it made me completely wonder are we all made this way? OK not like super hero people, who can fly and frickin toss whales at sail boats... But do we have a choice as well?
Do you think each of us were made and created in pairs, in regards to our soul mate and we have a choice to choose a life of love, or a life of power?

What would you chose? I guess the obvious one would be the life of love, cause in the end who truly wants to be lonely?

But still, I couldn't help but think of my 'power' if you will and that's the ability to write lyrics and perform, and excel in something not everyone can do... sure maybe you can view me as a super hero in that regard, but am I stuck between a choice of power or love?

Cause face it, it's impossible to equally balance both because they are both on such high leveled scales one needs more attention then the other, therefore how can you truly give your attention to both of them evenly? I don't think you can... sure maybe you have a combination? Like a love for power, but when I say 'love' I mean a selfless love where you actually share apart of yourself and your life with another in order to survive.

You do know though whether you do choose power or love, your never alone.

Sure Hancock was 'supposedly' alone, but not really. We was still interacting with more people, just he was taking his super abilities for granted.

Back to the personal perspective, I write music, and I've seen what God has done through me affect so many people. I have been given the gift to keep someone company always so they never have to be alone. Whether or not they may be stranded in their room all alone, but have some sort of way to hear music and who knows I could be that artist they listen to, and I'm keeping them company.

So if I was to choose this power, this great responsibility, I could keep the company of millions... though ultimately if love was chosen, it would only be the company of one to keep, but a much more intimate company at that.

Though when all comes down to it, that 'much stronger' woman in the movie twisted everything up. Instead, she fell in love with another man (other than Hancock) and still kept her power and immortality... and she was sincerely content with that decision. So it makes me wonder... what is meant for us? What is meant for me? Were we all created with a pair, another half? Are we supposed to become one with our other half once located? Or can we chose another rebellious heart who has also chosen the same fate, and yet still be content?

Now should it be that our soul mate's presence drains our power completely?

It's redundant, or an oxy moron, or whatever the heck you would call it.

That love, takes away our power... but yet now they say, "That's the power of love"
So are we trading a power, for just another dang power?

What the heck?

You know whatever is meant for us in life is completely frustrating and complicating.

Ok, I'll just leave at this thought, but you tell me this...

Whenever you find the love of your life, your other half, your soul mate, YOU tell me if what you obtain is more power then what you already had.

What the heck, it was just a dang movie!

Music, Memories, and Animations

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 00:27:00 GMT

Can one collection of songs collect so much memory, that once they are listened to they are poured into you and you are over filled with so many old feelings and emotions, that the memories begin to start overflowing out of you?

Yes

Because I have stored so many memories within the band "Coldplay" I can't even listen to them at all, without missing someone in particular extremely bad. So I have to keep exercising my right by putting "808's and Heartbreaks" by Kanye West, on repeat to eventually brainwash myself that I don't need any of this. It's the perfect antidote, and all I need to do so wash everything out of head and clear my memories.

Seriously, what is the use of memories when you can't create new ones?

"Tell everybody THAT you knowww/ That I don't love youu no morreee, and that's one thing THAT you knoww, THAT you know//"
- "See You In My Nightmares" -"Kanye West Ft. Lil Wayne"

I feel like somethings in my life are completely meaningless, and to look back on meaninglessness is possibly the most poisoning feeling to have.

It says in

Ecclesiastes 7:10
"Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions."

Also in

Ecclesiastes 7:14
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, you cannot discover anything about your future."

I guess who are we to think we are supposed to know are future, as well as why things have happened before? We desire for some sense of direction, and yet why do we believe we deserve the right to know where we'll end up in this short breath of life?

"If spring can take the snow away.../ Can it melt away all our mistakes?//"
-'Coldest Winter'_Kanye West

Do you believe in the famous quote, "It's better to have loved and lost, then to have ever loved at all"?

Personally it's saying it's more valuable to love, period, even if it means in the end, that love will leave you. When in the end, love is too powerful. Love is like a knife, it's so sharp, so deadly, and will make us bleed and discover we were more alive then we could have ever imagined... It leaves scars, that will never leave, and that you can never vanish from off of your skin... and even if you manage to do, you'll never forget that you were once cut. Love sucks, it's way to powerful then what people take it's worth for, that goes to those who casually throw it around like an overused rag.

I think the fact to mistakenly fall in love, can be the most waste of time you can ever encounter in your life. Seriously, because in the end what is it's worth?

Everything feels like a dream I can't go back to, I can't relive, and I most definitely can't do anything about. Like waking up from the greatest dream you can imagine, just to realize none of it happened. It's almost to believe in a lie, but to be manipulated by your desires.

But I guess the dreams we have in this life, are only dreams within a dream. In reality this whole life we live, is a dream, to wake up to the reality of eternity. I guess that's why we got to live the dream, because this is what life actually is. It says in the Bible life isn't but a breathe... And that's all dreams in reality are actually are. So since this life is a dream, we can do anything?

-Well as you know, not actually... because this dream we are living is not necessarily our own imagination, but the imagination of God, for he created everything. So in a sense we are living in His dream, in his imagination... why he dreamt of us, and everything surrounding us? I have no idea why, but I guess the best thing to do is find His dream for us, within His dream world, and live that dream.

"Chasing the American Dream, chasing everything we see, up on the TV screen"
-"Pinocchio Story Freestyle" -Kanye West

When it's all said and done I don't want to be viewed by the eyes of God as a creation of God, chasing after my own dream, but to chase after the dream God has for me.

Sadly, there is a lot of people out there chasing the American dream, chasing everything we see, up on the TV screen.

Music Over Girls

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 05:53:00 GMT

Since just recently getting out of a somewhat long term relationship I can't help but think I automatically get into another relationship...when in reality, it's irrelevant to whether or not I do get into another relationship or not.

Ya know after just being with one person all the time, and that person becoming your best friend you just have to make up your own mind... Is it worth holding onto? Now I know I posted up something similar to this on one of my earlier blogs, but still. I don't have to be in a relationship, so I don't know why I feel obligated like I need to be talking to a girl.

My priorities of importance (kinda redundant eh?)

God, Family, Ministry, Friends, Girls.

Sometimes I think we hold on to things that keep us from doing what we need to be actually doing. There is a purpose for everyday, and it's just a matter of figuring each day's purpose out.
There are long-term purposes, which include our reason for being in the situations we are in, especially what we do with our life. Sometimes I think we either focus on one more then the other, when in reality I don't know which is the most important. It's like a puzzle each day's purpose are little pieces fitting into to our much bigger purpose for existing here.

When it comes to it, I think my number one level of influence is music, and God has put that ability in me. So I shouldn't let my other desires get in the way of my blood. I really believe God put lyrics in my blood and music in my blood. I think as much as music affects me, I'm able to affect other people, which now makes sense... Because music affects me extremely it's almost as if it's my other world, and I understand it goes for the same with other people.

But I also think when you do music it comes become a whole lot more personal then just listening, it's like once you do some form of music, then music is apart of you. But some people who don't even do music, can feel the same way in all regards... cause some people all they have is good music to really relate to and let it express how they are truly feeling.

It's almost like talking to a great friend about a situation you can relate to... so it's our job for us as musicians to affect and relate to people in a sense of spirituality, and even those don't have the holy spirit or believe in it... We have to let them relate to us, that's why we must do great music for the reason we are doing it. And I do it for my Heart in life, Jesus Christ. And in the bible it says we will be doing our purposes forever, and that forever means in heaven... and I love the fact that I'll be writing forever.

How about a love story?

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:32:00 GMT

OK first you need two characters... so how about the first two guy and girl names on the top of my head. Ok I got it!

You have Julia and William__simple names eh? Now you take those two characters and let's put them in a setting... wait wait, OK let's just start this story. Try and to follow me with this one.

Dag you know what.. I'll just start out with dialogue since you people barley read regardless, and dialogue is the only thing interesting half the time. Let's do this.

"I really love this part of the song...", exclaimed Julia as she grabbed for the Ipod just to replay that certain part. Julia and William were listening to his Ipod on the outside patio of her grandparent's house, as it was storming outside. The wind cursing through the inside walls of the patio made it extremely chilly, for the only sense of warmth the two shared was with each other.

"it's probably my favorite part..."

*it played back*="I took my love down to violet hill, there we sat in the snow/ All that time she was silent still...if you love me wont you let me know// If you love me wont you let me know..."

"Yeah...that part IS the best part of the song," William agreed, as he began to rub his forehead. He sighed deeply.

He couldn't ignore the knot twisting inside of him, urging him to finally let her know how he truly felt for her. Stubbornly, he held back and began to hold onto her tighter as the wind once again interrupted their moment.

Gahh you know what? Forget it! If I was painting a picture for you, I apologies for cutting it short.

Wait wait... haha ok ok I'll finish it for you.

*back to the story*

William finally felt the courage within him to let Julia know how he felt...

"Julia?", he asked.

"Yes?", she responded as she glanced into his eyes desperately.

"I.. uh... well...", he stuttered.

"William", she interrupted. "I know what you are."

"Say it." he said, "Say it out loud!"

She whispered quietly,

"vampire..."

*there was an awkward silence, that was suddenly broken by the truth.*

"...uh hate to break it to you Julia but, I'm... your Dad!"

Then a miscalculated nuclear bomb originally locked on to hit some strategic war-zone, re-directed itself onto the patio of the two lovers... then died!

THE END

Hope you enjoyed it!

Really.. that was not me

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:21:00 GMT

I recently just returned from a weekend trip from my old hometown in Lawerenceville, Ga and may I say it was quite the sentimental experience. To drive past all the places I remember growing up along with some new places and buildings that have replaced the ones in my memories from years and years ago...

The reason we first lived there was because my Dad was the Youth Pastor at this church for 5 years, and then God moved us somewhere else because of financial reasons within the Church. I just finished 6th grade at the time and was only 11 years old.. So in all honesty it shouldn't have affected me in the extreme way it did at such a young age, but it broke my heart to have to move away. It was the only place I had a chance to grow an attachment to, and grow earnestly to love. If you think about it at that age it was almost like I had vanished, leaving people barley but a memory of me to remember me by. About a month ago I talked to my best friend, during the time, and he said the only thing he could really remember about me, is that I had a "hot neighbor"... and that's it! I mean sure that's kind of sad, but at the same time that's really the kind of thing HE would have remembered, that kid is mad funny.

After moving away I really never had a reason to go back, after my other best friend died in a car wreck, so...after that I stopped making visits to Ga and I guess it was time for me to let go.
Until two weeks ago I started talking to a member of a family friend still living in Ga, and for some reason came up with this crazy idea that I come and hang out for the weekend. Especially since it was her birthday and all, so as random as that sounded or caught me off guard, we worked everything out, and a week after talking I was back in my old hometown with someone I've known since I was about 9 years old, I would guess.

Me actually even visiting was threatened by the fact I had no car for the weekend, because it had like broken down and was in the shop, but she actually insisted on coming to pick me up...I really didn't know how to conceive it either, but in all reality I wanted to see her more than anything else.

In my bank of memories, I remember having quite the attraction for her at a very young age and of course give it almost a decade and all that will do is just enhance tremendously. As strange as it may sound, seeing her again made me feel like a kid again and in all honesty I had no idea on how to handle it. It was almost like a movie experience where you kinda have one of those "first crushes" just to disappear, and to return 10 years later, to UN-lock that certain feeling once more. I had no idea on what to expect but for one thing I was extremely nervous...and for me that's just odd.

When she pulled up with her friend to get me, I really didn't know what to do. It was the first time in my life, that I saw a girl and had no idea what to say, how to really act, or to know what my intentions were. I can honestly say she is the only person to ever put this "spell" on me... I could go on and on and speak of her attributes and my thoughts for her but I'm afraid I would just become repetitive and somewhat get off track.
The whole weekend I felt lost, out of my mind. I had no idea what to really say, and my desires on what I felt like I needed to do were scrambled.

Let me explain...

I went through this stage that when it came to relationships I would play it safe by all means, and try to make every little thing work.. Until one moment and one conversation with my Dad would change all that, where he encouraged me to take risks and that I had "nothing to lose" so who cares right?
So from that point on if you would ask me, I had nothing to lose, and was just taking risks, right? I don't want to regret anything later on in life, and say I played it completely safe right?

OK so with this new mindset in this position it makes even MORE sense to, I guess, take risks right? Like, not to worry at all what may happen. But for some reason I switch on my "safety".

I have no idea why I did that but I felt like if I was too lose her...I have no idea... I just thought that she was something I couldn't risk on losing, even though who is to know when I was to see her again anyways? I mean we just like a 6 year absence period of us not seeing each other at all...so why not risk it? I have no clue.

To be honest I can't really tell you if we had chemistry or not because I was holding back so much that legitimately I don't even know if there was a chance to discover a certain "spark" if you will... I don't even know the intentions of this whole weekend... obviously for us to see each other, but I don't even know what she was looking for within it....

I just wish I could go back and try again... I just need one more chance.

But who is to know what was supposed to happen, but God. I just felt like that really wasn't me to hold back.... eh yeah life is so great and non complicating.

My advice: "Take risks while your yung, and don't look back on regret. Don't try and figure out why your heart does what it does, just don't stress over the misunderstanding desires of it. All we have to do is follow it, for God is within our hearts once we have accepted him..."

To let go... or not to let go

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:18:00 GMT

that is the question...

You know what's dang interesting?
-How quickly desires can change from one thing to another, opposed to what is really best for you.

So here are a couple of questions I need to ask myself...

Why do I need to let go?
What are my reasons to hold on?
Why is it this MUCH harder to let go?
Why is music such an emotional element to restoring memories and feelings?
What is best, acting opposed to how you feel now or waiting till later to see if things change?

I'm sure I'll think of some more later, but now to start answering my own questions to try and analyze and figure this thing out..

Why do I need to let go?
-I guess because in the long term, things will just become harder if I continue to hold on... and the result from holding on might lead to me holding back, from doing things that I really need to be doing. Such as going out on more opportune dates and what knot... Another reason, maybe this person is really not who I'm supposed to be with in the long term. BUT then again how am I supposed to know at this point? There's no way really for me to know... so....

What are my reasons to hold on?
-Mainly, to have another person to care for other than myself, who is also my best friend... All the good times, are great reasons to hold on...There is a chance she might be the one for me, but I guess I could find that out regardless of what I put myself through. What I mean is, I could let go, and move on, but just to come back to her later. I mean not intentionally but they say "if you love something let it go, then if it comes back then that's how you know..." But who believes in quotes? eh

Why is it this MUCH harder to let go?
-I guess to truly love for the first time, can be THAT much harder because that person has apart of you that you may never get back...enough said.

Why is music such an emotional element to restoring memories and feelings?
-We mainly listen to music that is relevant to our lives at the time, whether we are feeling loved, anger, or sadness, and we connect to certain "songs" during those times therefore revealing a certain "human-to-music" chemistry, if you will, that never really goes away. It's amazing how we can listen to one song, and within that song, un-locks so many memories of what we were going through during that time. I believe we all do it, and that's another great thing about music...BUT it completely sucks when your trying to let someone go, and you can't even listen to the same songs because all it does is just remind you of how much you felt like you needed, that other person in your life... and it will trigger memories and present them like scenes from movies like for ex. "That time at the lake..." and just all of a sudden what never felt like romantic scenes at the time, are totally enhanced by the music in regards to who you don't have anymore... It's terrible right?

What is best, acting opposed to how you feel now, or waiting till later to see if things change?
-It's like one of those spur of the moment kinda things... where you feel the adrenaline and you just want to jump, when later you realize, "I guess I was just caught up in the moment, and really shouldn't have done it..." What I mean specifically is, listening to music, and getting so caught up in memories that create such an emotional experience, that you start developing a new mindset that, "I can't live without this person." So within the moment you call them up, leaving them a completely desperate sounding message, just to come to your senses later and question your judgement in regards to, "OK...why did I just do that? That wasn't really that worth it..." And now look what you have done! You have created a moment that you wish you have taken back, because tonight you have a date with someone else, and this creates an unnecessary change of events. Ha, what I mean is, NOW you have to dang deal with your ex after your "new date" saying, "What the heck? I thought you were still crazy for me, and wanted me back?" and blah, blah, blah. Now your ex has all these crazy thoughts running through his/her head, believing whether or not taking you back later is the smartest choice, because of your new fickle behavior... So I guess it's best to resist temptation to get caught up in the moment, and say things later, that you may regret...

Love is a confusing cycle, and to truly love is all worth it, but it's a cycle... It never really stops even when you want it to, therefore we are forced to deal with something we have no idea how to handle. Hey it's great, but confusing, complicating, and mostly a commitment that your heart will never let you forget.

-Yungtown

You have two options..

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 03:59:00 GMT

1. You pick up from where you left off
or
2. You start over

Usually I think it's all based on the scenario. Let's say your meeting an old friend, I'm pretty sure you would pick #1, naturally, because why start over? Starting over trust issues, and past memories and what knot. Doesn't make sense right?

But to be honest #2 looks a heck of lot more attractive then "Picking up from where you left off"
cause sometimes we need a fresh start.

Sure you can be all cute, and quote, "But everything happens for a reason" and all that wondrous stuff. Honestly that saying kinda hacks me off in a sense, cause people say it as a "comfort quote" if you will, but in reality it's common sense. It's almost like getting upset then looking up to say, "Well.. at least the sky is blue!" ..and is that even necessary?

It's called "Causality" a.k.a: "Cause and Effect" So it doesn't matter whether it's choosing who you marry to where you eat later, every choice is a cause, therefore positive/neutral/negative consequences will result later. There is no such thing as "not choosing" because to not choose is actually just selecting a more than likely, non-given option.

-All of that to say, whether you pick #1(You pick up from where you left off) or
#2 (You start over) will result in a consequence.

Have you ever said, "Well I'm glad that happened, or I'm glad I went through that because it made me more of who I am today." ?

Well if you have lets think about this.. if you had an opportunity to try something again, you wouldn't? EVEN with the knowledge you obtained, to go back and alter the situation, and to do it RIGHT. I think personally you would just result from a positive consequence rather than a negative, simple as that. But what if the whole purpose that you messed up, was to just go back and fix it later? What if THAT's the reason behind your mess-up, if you will..?

Well I wish I could go back and re-try something, and never picked up from where I left off to say the least, cause lets be honest here... We are growing everyday; rather it be, height, knowledge, or faith... we are growing in someway, it could be in intelligence to stupidity, who knows?

But you are!

So why should we want to pick up from where you left off, opposed to just starting over as better, newer, and grown, with the present intelligence you have today?-I personally like that option much better. But then if you want to dive deeper, what if you get another chance, make it better... and later want to go back AGAIN, and try to alter it to another form or fashion. I guess manipulation is endless, and so is knowledge, experience and faith.

Sooner or later you will have to choose something, just be prepared to face those consequences whatever they may be, later on... There is no such thing as, "no consequence". You'll ether face that here on earth, or when you stand accountable to your life. So if you died and had another chance to live your life again, tell me, what would you choose?

1. You pick up from where you left off

or

2. You start over

Some people won't have that choice when they die, but regardless you will face the consequences of all your choices in life once you do.

-Yungtown